Battle o' the Songz (redux)

Not satisfied to call it quits after our latest high-brow culture battle, co-worker Dan and I continued our song battle at a reduced rate.

To recap: We trade song volleys back and forth, and they have to be linked by artist, lyrics, themes, or other meta-context. The greater the link, the more “points”.

Here's the round #2 blow-by-blow.

Dan opens and wows me with the Transformers theme remix from Vince DiCola. I keep my cool and fire back the safe-but-appropriate G.I. Joe animated movie theme song from Ford Kinder. Dan responds with Joe Satriani's "House Full of Bullets" (because "G.I. Joe's fire bullets"). And it is on.

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Finding the previous volley too easy, I fire off the Jimmy Hendrix riff "Red House" covered by Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Eric Johnson. It's a sharp retort, but it softballs my office mate a bunch of options for response. He answers with The Streets's "Get Out of My House".

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I answer with U2's "Where the Streets have No Name", and he answers with Eddy Grant's "Electric Avenue" (because his street has a name). Not bad.

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I answer with Amy Grant's "Big Yellow Taxi" (boo-ya!), appropriately making it hard for Dan to respond. After taking a day to recover, he fires back with Vince Gill ("What the Cowgirls Do") in response to yesterday's Amy Grant song. (They're married.)

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I retaliate with Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" ('cause he's a cowboy, and -- let's face it -- in his heyday he looked like a girl; keep your hate mail to yourself). Dan sends back Stone Temple Pilot's "Dead and Bloated".

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Seeing my opp to get Weird Al Yankovic in the mix, I lob over "Happy Birthday". Dan is appropriately non-plussed, and lobs back barely linked "Gangsta's Paradise" from Coolio. I fire back with LL Cool J's (the Original West Coast Gangster) "Mama Said Knock You Out. And I'm in high school again.

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In perhaps the best volley so far, Dan (springboarding off of "Ladies Love") plays "Laid" from James, and I blast back with the Rebecca St. James abstinence song, "Wait for Me" -- the I'm - not - getting - laid (yet) song. Poetry.

After regrouping, Dan sends REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Fight this Feeling", and while losing points for moving away from the sexual motif, he gets points for it being REO Speedwagon.

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I try to bring us closer to the gutter by firing back Blink 182's "Feeling This". Dan plays into it and answers with the Divinyls "I Touch Myself".

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I pole vault over the line with Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta". Look, he went there. I just followed. And escalated.

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We call a mutual truce on the self-pleasuring theme, and after getting Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy", I counter with the Alanis Morissette cover of Seal's "Crazy". That's meta-funny. "Insane in the Brain" (Cypress Hill) is the response. I'll take that.

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I backhand with Public Enemy's "Get The F --- Outta Dodge" (read the lyrics of both if you don't get the link). Dan comes back with a solid "My Own Worst Enemy" from Lit (with a private enemy making a good comeback to a Public Enemy).

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I send back Something Corporate's "I Kissed a Drunk Girl" (they're Lit, for pete's sake; plus I think the girls in both songs are the same kind of person).

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Dan finishes with "Santana DVX" from The Lonely Island -- and we mutually call it a fitting enough response to "I Kissed a Drunk Girl" to close this song volley round.

(Oh, and you people who think this is "stupid"? Please stop Emailing me to tell me. You're obviously reading. You're stupid.)