I am a Patriot (Sorry Not Sorry)

It's the Fourth of July. It's an important day for me.
So is Memorial Day. And Veteran's Day. And Welcome Home Vietnam Veterans Day. And Patriot Day.
And so are a bunch of other related holidays, and the other 360 days not in the above list.
Because I love my country.
That's not in vogue. Hell, it's not even popular. Honestly, it's actively discouraged in today's world.
And that is broken.
I'm proud to be an American.
I can't take credit for it – It's not like I got to choose my parents or where or when I was born or on what soil or when in the timeline, or any of the things that made me an American.
But I can do something with it.
For me, patriotism is a responsibility. It's a set of attitudes and actions that live out the ideals of everything that make my country great. (I do claim it. I don't minimize or disavow it.)
The ideals. The "what it should be."
Not jingoism. Not fascism. Not a host of other labels people will use to intentionally devalue and deconstruct and destroy something that could make the world better.
It's not, "I'm OK, you're OK, so we're all OK."
As we traipse along in our little isolationist bubbles of selfishness, corporate betterment be damned.
No, it's, "I'm not OK. You're not OK. And that's OK."
Not not in a "let's settle and wallow in our broken bubbles of selfishness, because – hey – everyone's broken."
And it's not embracing the worldwide in vogue societal lie that each of us are even independent islands of awesome that are entitled to do what we want (bigger values and norms be damned).
We are are a social, deeply dependent species that is better when we come together to live for ideals and overcome our individual brokenness to make something bigger and better and healthier than we can by ourselves.
Patriotism is a very important avenue for that.
That's not to say we don't occasionally come together; we do. Often at times of horrible tragedy.
Columbine and Sandy Hook. 9/11 and Orlando.
Things I think about and have a tightening in my chest and a helpless sorrow and physical desire to huddle in my home holding my family for eternity.
But amazing things happen in those times of tragedy.
And so do amazingly fractured, broken things, as people line up in solidarity across dividing lines that often become more about marginalizing opposition (the horrific irony), rather than doing everything we can to stave off the encroaching downward darkness spiral with those pools of light of acts of service and sacrifice that are those good islands of hope to which we so desperately cling.
But thank God those things do happen.
In the wake of giant tragedy, as I try to go through what I can find out about each of the victims, and directly and splash damage impacted people, in what could be a horrifically sink-hole of sadness, there are these brilliant, stabbingly bright lights of heroism, some big, and so many non-spotlighted and never making it above the fold.
It's not like living ideals – any ideals – is easy.
To be ramble-y for moment, the only good example of any of this is me, because that's the sample set of one with which I am 100% aware. (Ish.)
And I'm one uneven, inconsistent, perpetually emotionally 14-year-old example. I'm snarky and passionate and high-handed and inappropriate and rallying and divisive and loyal and turncoat and loving and selfish so much more.
(Which any of you who follow my too-involved online presencie have a vague sense of – and be thankful you don't have the additional insight of living in my skull.)
But even if I don't have it all figured out, I do have the awareness – or sometimes just a sense – of ideals that might lift me and people around me up. If even a little bit.
Patriotism gives a container for a decent chunk of ideals.
Sure, the history is messy and there are so many dark milestones on the way that I can't whitewash or grotesquely minimize with a version of, "Hey, that wasn't me that did that."
But I'm talking about the ideals. The "if I I figure out some version of living out this one thing, the world is a better place. And if I can also live out some version of this other one that I think will make the world better place. Oh, and this one...."
And owning it. Owning those ideals are wrapped in a country-specific wrapper that isn't that country-specific, because these are borne from desperate desire to hold onto human values, irrespective of country borders.
And not being milktoast about. It's digging in my heels and saying, "No! This, this Value – This matters.
This is worth doing the hard work and fighting for."
Living this:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Living this:

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

****ing living this:

"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,With conquering limbs astride from land to land;Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall standA mighty woman with a torch, whose flameIs the imprisoned lightning, and her nameMother of Exiles. From her beacon-handGlows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes commandThe air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame."'Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!' cries sheWith silent lips. 'Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,I lift my lamp beside the golden door!'"

Happy Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day.
Whether you live in that country's borders or not.
God Bless America.
(Unashamed.)

Just ... stop it

Up front: Admittedly, my tolerance for what I consider unimportant is at quite the low.

I'm excitedly and urgently growing my business in a ginormous way, which pretty much consumes me right now. My wife and I are painfully remembering and grieving departed loved ones, and that has us emotionally drained. And I seem to be recently surrounded by friends and acquaintances who are sadly, imminently going to lose family members, so I'm doing what I can physically and emotionally to be there for them, too.

So, there's all of this genuinely important stuff going on in people's lives.

And then there's irritating, destructive noise in my social feeds, where it's just people abusing other people.

Over stupid things.

Like the "debate" over evolution and creation.

Not important.

Don't misunderstand -- I'm not saying the topics aren't important and worth discussing. But this gross noise has not been about the topics. It's been about debating. And it's been about abuse.

So if it's not important, why am I coming out of semi-blog-hiatus to say anything?

Because that abuse is an important thing for us to talk about. And, corporately, to stop.

I look at these social feeds, and think, "Really? You're going to abuse people using broken social pipes as a way to push your world view onto them, and, what -- change them to your mindset?"

Actually, I would be OK with even that.

Except even that's not what's happening.

What is actually happening in is you're using broken social pipes as an avenue to try to appear superior and to abuse people.

You are an arrogant, horrible person.

I have been shocked at the base, intolerant vitriol that's been spewed by people over topics like this. In publicly, archive-able, searchable forms for when I'm considering working with, hiring, or having a beer with you.

Sickly ironically, this vitriol is usually from people that would consider themselves socially progressive intelligent people, and for whom tolerance is a stated cornerstone of their beliefs.

We all have our blind spots, and we smart people often think we're far more intelligent than we really are, and oh, we would like to think we're never intolerant.

Coming back to this recent debate and abuse over theories of how everything came to be, and limiting that to evolution and creationism theories, let me tell you what's true for me:

1. I am well-read and informed concerning these theories
2. I acknowledge both theories take a tremendous amount of faith
3. I have a strong, directed personal conviction on these topics
4. I don't put that personal conviction onto other people
5. I don't think less of them if they disagree (about this, or political views, or best movies)
6. As someone else said, depending on the direction you take, evolution and creation are inherently non-provable and/or non-falsifiable
7. I wasn't there, so I don't know how the whole "everything coming into being" thing went down

So, now you know where I stand. It's discussable.

It's not debatable.

This whole little rambling of mine is just a straw. It's just little contribution for goading maybe a few of us to take our viewpoints out of a non-directed cloud (and aiming it at a public figure with whom you don't have a personal relationship is the same thing as a non-directed cloud, plus maybe a little bit of cowardice).

And this is about taking accountability for our behavior.

Those that know me know I don't brook intolerant vitriolic hate spew. One of the things people like and hate about me is I hold people accountable. Even if I don't know them.

I'm a work in progress, and I certainly haven't arrived, but I work really hard to hold people accountable without penalizing them. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, practicing it, evaluating how I've done with it, and refining it.

So even though I know "I'm not there yet", I'm comfortable that I'm at least actively doing the hard work.

And regardless of your viewpoint, if you know me, do me favor: Take the comments you've been making about [those people] and [that obvious debate], and insert my name. Make it personal. Make it directed. Make it at me.

See if that still works for you.

And if it does, do us a mutual favor and unfriend and unfollow me.

And honestly, all of that intolerant vitriolic hate spew? Just ... stop it.

Didn't get the gig? That's your fault.

My personal bias?

Resumes and candidates have gotten crappier across the board over the years.

(And, yes, I do mean "candidates have gotten crappier", not "candidates behavior has gotten crappier". The latter abstracts accountability from the infractor, and the former let's it land where it belongs -- Behavior doesn't define a person, but is a reflection of who that person already is.)



I've found all of this to be far, far worse in the acting and video game worlds.

So, while I don't agree with all of the points in this slide deck (some are distinctly legacy), there are some good tips here -- Even if you're not a recent college grad. And probably especially if you think none of this applies to you.

Part of the glut of sub-par submissions is an overall societal decline in personal accountability, and a correlative increase in a sense of entitlement & arrogance (which is invalid anyway, but especially for new entrants who haven't earned anything, and for long-time, experienced folks who who are lazy and don't bust their ass daily to stay relevant).


I know these industries -- I'm a professional actor and a video game studio owner.

At times, I get so blindingly frustrated with the amateur behavior of things like assistants to casting directors, agents, and managers who can't manage people or events to a clock, or non-experience folks who want to get into the game industry, but have done no research, or passionately chased their own development projects.

A while ago, I sat across the table from a guy who I'd coached for an entry level position interview at another company. He didn't get the gig, didn't do any of the things I suggested as prep, and he blamed not getting the job on "nepotism", "unfair bias", and "them not seeing how great I am".

"I see the problem," I said. "You're a lazy, self-absorbed jerk who doesn't want to contribute positively to people outside of yourself. That's on you."

(His response was I have unreasonable expectations for people. I really wish I could say this was a unique sit-down event.)

Anyway, as a bonus, these slides' retro-50s visual juxtaposition and tongue-in-cheekedness is fun, too.

http://theundercoverrecruiter.com/graduates-lose-out-jobs/

Parenting and Accountability

People who know me know I'm pretty keen on personal accountability -- for myself, and for other people.

Those same folks know I don't have to know you to hold you accountable.

I'll be professional, I'll be constructive, but if you are doing something blatantly untoward in public, it's totally possible I'll chat with you about it. Society's arguably in a bit of a nosedive, and I'd argue societal character disorder is at least in part at play.

 My kids know this, too. Sometimes, that bites me.

Last night, I was helping my 4-year-old with something she really should be able to do on her own. I stopped what I was doing, briefly helped her, then went back to what I was doing.

"Daaaa-dy!"

"What, Hon?"

"You didn't do it right."

"Look, Sweetie, it's not my job to do this for you."

"Yeah, but it is your job to do the part you said you'd help me with right!"

(Dammit.)

She's totally right.

Note to self: Avoid transparent half-assery.