This weekend, I unexpectedly got to be part of something pretty great, as I took on a last-minute lead role in a project with a solid group of Austin creatives.
"The Encouragement Clown" is an upcoming short film from The Milkshake Boom crew, HQed in Austin, Texas.
Writer / Director Robert James Haynes ("The Spell Book") and DP Christine Carstairs ("Drastic Measures"), are an amazing creative duo, and I get the sense really talented folks gravitate toward them.
Actors Dan Rep, Jose V. Rivera, and Robin Kauffman (who pulled double duty with makeup), Boom Operator Dylan Santurri, Sound Technician and Grip Scott Osborn, and 2nd AD Lindsay Young helped build a fun, low-pressure, high-energy, single-day shoot.
It was humbling to be included by such a great group of creatives, I'm looking forward to the film showing well (I generally don't watch myself, so y'all will have to tell me how it is), and you can get some behind-the-scenes photos from Christine here.
Showing posts with label acting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acting. Show all posts
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Didn't get the gig? That's your fault.
My personal bias?
Resumes and candidates have gotten crappier across the board over the years.
(And, yes, I do mean "candidates have gotten crappier", not "candidates behavior has gotten crappier". The latter abstracts accountability from the infractor, and the former let's it land where it belongs -- Behavior doesn't define a person, but is a reflection of who that person already is.)
I've found all of this to be far, far worse in the acting and video game worlds.
So, while I don't agree with all of the points in this slide deck (some are distinctly legacy), there are some good tips here -- Even if you're not a recent college grad. And probably especially if you think none of this applies to you.
Part of the glut of sub-par submissions is an overall societal decline in personal accountability, and a correlative increase in a sense of entitlement & arrogance (which is invalid anyway, but especially for new entrants who haven't earned anything, and for long-time, experienced folks who who are lazy and don't bust their ass daily to stay relevant).
I know these industries -- I'm a professional actor and a video game studio owner.
At times, I get so blindingly frustrated with the amateur behavior of things like assistants to casting directors, agents, and managers who can't manage people or events to a clock, or non-experience folks who want to get into the game industry, but have done no research, or passionately chased their own development projects.
A while ago, I sat across the table from a guy who I'd coached for an entry level position interview at another company. He didn't get the gig, didn't do any of the things I suggested as prep, and he blamed not getting the job on "nepotism", "unfair bias", and "them not seeing how great I am".
"I see the problem," I said. "You're a lazy, self-absorbed jerk who doesn't want to contribute positively to people outside of yourself. That's on you."
(His response was I have unreasonable expectations for people. I really wish I could say this was a unique sit-down event.)
Anyway, as a bonus, these slides' retro-50s visual juxtaposition and tongue-in-cheekedness is fun, too.
http://theundercoverrecruiter.com/graduates-lose-out-jobs/
Monday, May 20, 2013
Aaron Eckhart On Working With Heath Ledger
Not much I could say to add to the awesome of this. Simple and inspiring.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Updated Acting Resume
In addition to my blog updates, I've refreshed my acting resume (both HTML and PDF versions), available both from my site, and from the Box.net folder on my LinkedIn profile. There are some new video game and industrial gigs listed.
(It also felt like a good time to update my toy job print and profile resumes on LinkedIn, too.)
(It also felt like a good time to update my toy job print and profile resumes on LinkedIn, too.)
Sunday, January 02, 2011
The Blogs are Back in Town ...
Guess who just got back today?
Them useful blogs that had been away
How they've changed, got a lot to say
But man, I still think them posts are crazy
They were asking if you had freedom
How you was, if you were readin'
Told them you were readin' all 'round
Driving digirati crazy
The blogs are back in town
The blogs are back in town
I said
The blogs are back in town
The blogs are back in town
The blogs are back in town
The blogs are back in town
The blogs are back in town
The blogs are back in town
(With sincere, sincere apologies to Thin Lizzy.)
And apologies to you, because my multitude of blogs have been on a too-long hiatus, and now they're back in force.
Between changes with blogger.com and my Web hosting company changing how they were handling CName records -- my blogs got broken sometime last year. Add to that me being wicked busy at the toy job, and content itself has been light -- and a lot of what was there over the last year has been lost because of changes to the two not-so integrated services above. Sucky.
Anyway, due to me recently re-recognizing the importance of staying in touch with y'all through my postings, I've rebranded and reposted my blogs. To avoid further CName problems (and to take advantage of Google's various integrated media services), I've moved all of my blogs to be hosted by Blogger:
- Adam Creighton, Voice & Film Actor (Ramblings)
http://ramblings4realz.blogspot.com/ - Adam Creighton, Computer and Video Gaming
http://gaming4realz.blogspot.com/ - I'm Playing
http://playing4realz.blogspot.com/ - I'm Hearing
http://hearing4realz.blogspot.com/ - I'm Seeing
http://seeing4realz.blogspot.com/ - I'm Reading
http://reading4realz.blogspot.com/ - I'm Playing With
http://notdolls4realz.blogspot.com/
Now, any time I make a new post to any of my blogs, notices will automatically post to Twitter (the World) and Facebook (Friends only). Posts from my game industry and acting blogs will also post automatically to my LinkedIn profile (Professional Network). Check out the post, "My so-called (connected gamer) life" over at my Gaming blog for the details for how I'm piping data back and forth.
Nothing should have changed for the RSS feeds, since I re-pipe all of those through my existing FeedBurner account, and kept the outward-facing URLs the same.
That's it for now -- more Freedom of Speechish fodder soon.
Monday, March 01, 2010
Auditions and Blood Work
So, I had blood work drawn as part of routine physical, and that got me to thinking:
Getting blood drawn is like auditioning.
You really want to perform well with both, but you've done the real work weeks and months ahead of time, you kind of "fire and forget", and you hope the results are good (and really really hope they're not bad).
See?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Resume, voice, and industrial updates
I've posted a few updated gigs to my resume (HTML and PDF), and the related voice clips.
I did an industrial for AMD for their Computex show in Taipei this summer, and also updated the site with a couple of my recent video game credits -- Mangled Metal (based on the WARMACHINE property), and Forbidden Terror on Station Z! -- an on-rails zombie shooter.
There is another clip from Mangled Metal I'll upload soon, and I'll probably capture some video from the game for both clips, since the voiceover works a lot better in the context of the video.
Linkies:
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Adam's POV
Casting Director Bonnie Gillespie told me the first of my guest columns is now live at "The Actors Voice - POV".
It's entitled "Living a Life of Desperate Creativity (Take 1)" It's tertiarily about my recent move from my established acting scene in Austin and my trying to make inroads in North Carolina. What it's really about is how important this whole acting thing is to me and about personal accountability in my craft. Wonderful, scary stuff.
Check out the column, let me know what you think, and take advantage of all of the wonderful resources Bonnie provides across her myriad sites. She's one of those precious ones that loves the Biz and loves actors, and is busy in the industry six ways to Sunday -- but it's not in a "frantic, scattershot, undirected way"; rather, it's a focused, "I'd rather burn out than fade away" kind of way. Bonnie's a gift.
Enjoy ...
It's entitled "Living a Life of Desperate Creativity (Take 1)" It's tertiarily about my recent move from my established acting scene in Austin and my trying to make inroads in North Carolina. What it's really about is how important this whole acting thing is to me and about personal accountability in my craft. Wonderful, scary stuff.
Check out the column, let me know what you think, and take advantage of all of the wonderful resources Bonnie provides across her myriad sites. She's one of those precious ones that loves the Biz and loves actors, and is busy in the industry six ways to Sunday -- but it's not in a "frantic, scattershot, undirected way"; rather, it's a focused, "I'd rather burn out than fade away" kind of way. Bonnie's a gift.
Enjoy ...
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Other Side of Something Horrible
I haven't posted on the acting side in a while.
Here's the MP3 -- and remember, this is my "Ramblings" blog ...
The-Other-Side-of-Something-Horrible.mp3
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Voice acting in Condemned 2
Video games and cartoons got me into voice acting.
Condemned was one of the best (and under-rated) launch games for the Xbox 360 (playing in the dark with surround sound almost made me soil myself).
Now, Condemned 2: Bloodshot is on its way, and SEGA's released a very cool VO session video.
Check it out to see VO Director Art Currim (Black Powder Media) work his magic with some talented folks.
Enjoy performances from André Sogliuzzo (protagonist Ethan Thomas), Dave Mitchell (Agent Dorland), Phil LaMarr (Lerue/Bum), Henry Dittman (SKX/Pilot), Keith Szarabajka (Inferi), Angel Parker (Agent Rosa), and Michael Bell (Magic Man/President).
Oh, and there are some interesting bits from Associate Producer Marty Caplan, Lead Designer Frank Rooke, Cinematics Director Rocky Newton, and heaven forbid we forget the ADR Group
Don't necessarily take technique tips from all of the performances. While they're all talented actors, voice over is a unique skill set, and some of these folks aren't necessarily experienced in voice acting -- but kudos to them for getting the chance to leverage their acting chops in new ways, and watch Art give concrete microphone technique and acting direction.
Condemned was one of the best (and under-rated) launch games for the Xbox 360 (playing in the dark with surround sound almost made me soil myself).
Now, Condemned 2: Bloodshot is on its way, and SEGA's released a very cool VO session video.
Check it out to see VO Director Art Currim (Black Powder Media) work his magic with some talented folks.
Enjoy performances from André Sogliuzzo (protagonist Ethan Thomas), Dave Mitchell (Agent Dorland), Phil LaMarr (Lerue/Bum), Henry Dittman (SKX/Pilot), Keith Szarabajka (Inferi), Angel Parker (Agent Rosa), and Michael Bell (Magic Man/President).
Oh, and there are some interesting bits from Associate Producer Marty Caplan, Lead Designer Frank Rooke, Cinematics Director Rocky Newton, and heaven forbid we forget the ADR Group
Don't necessarily take technique tips from all of the performances. While they're all talented actors, voice over is a unique skill set, and some of these folks aren't necessarily experienced in voice acting -- but kudos to them for getting the chance to leverage their acting chops in new ways, and watch Art give concrete microphone technique and acting direction.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Another reason to be unafraid
I was at my brother-in-law's gymnasium the day after Christmas, and I watched various kids of various ages try various things, interested in what they were trying, when, and why.
Turns out the more comfortable a kiddo looked, the more likely she was to try something daring (hanging from the higher of the uneven bars, jumping from stacked mats into a foam pit, sliding on the big slide -- whatever).
The more secure they felt, the more gutsy stuff they tried.
This got me to thinking about adults in general, and me in particular, and the fact that the more secure I feel, the more gutsy stuff I'm comfortable trying.
And since everything comes back to living, and the more I learn about life the more I learn about in my acting, I was struck with some life/acting lessons from the observations.
Taking risks while comfy -- having supportive cast mates, coaches, directors, and so on -- is great, but it's kind of the low bar for me. I work to train myself to take risks when I'm not comfortable.
This means while I can do daring stuff in a comfortable place (supportive director, professional working environment, etc.), I don't need that comfortableness.
If I train myself to make gutsy choices and "tear it up" without the crutch of security, I'm much more useful in the industry (being an actor is a freaking uncomfortable gig).
And when I am working with a supportive director and professional cast and crew (which, frankly, is way more fun)?
Watch out for the fireworks.
Turns out the more comfortable a kiddo looked, the more likely she was to try something daring (hanging from the higher of the uneven bars, jumping from stacked mats into a foam pit, sliding on the big slide -- whatever).
The more secure they felt, the more gutsy stuff they tried.
This got me to thinking about adults in general, and me in particular, and the fact that the more secure I feel, the more gutsy stuff I'm comfortable trying.
And since everything comes back to living, and the more I learn about life the more I learn about in my acting, I was struck with some life/acting lessons from the observations.
Taking risks while comfy -- having supportive cast mates, coaches, directors, and so on -- is great, but it's kind of the low bar for me. I work to train myself to take risks when I'm not comfortable.
This means while I can do daring stuff in a comfortable place (supportive director, professional working environment, etc.), I don't need that comfortableness.
If I train myself to make gutsy choices and "tear it up" without the crutch of security, I'm much more useful in the industry (being an actor is a freaking uncomfortable gig).
And when I am working with a supportive director and professional cast and crew (which, frankly, is way more fun)?
Watch out for the fireworks.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Voice acting video game interviews
Since I'm a voice actor and a gamer, I look for interviews with actors on their techniques and processes for video game worlds.
A couple have popped up for one of my more anticipated games -- Mass Effect fromElectronic Arts BioWare.
First up is an MTV Multiplayer interview with Seth Green, the wunderkind creative and voice actor behind things like Robot Chicken (but to me, he'll always be Oz from Buffy, with his leaving signifying a brief downturn in the watchability of the show).
Then there's this video interview with veteran actors Keith David, Lance Henriksen, and Marina Sirtis.
David has some good stuff to say (including the fact that "acting is acting -- it's either good acting or it's bad acting"), as does Henriksen (with nuggets highlighting some of the differences between voice acting and on-camera acting).
A couple have popped up for one of my more anticipated games -- Mass Effect from
First up is an MTV Multiplayer interview with Seth Green, the wunderkind creative and voice actor behind things like Robot Chicken (but to me, he'll always be Oz from Buffy, with his leaving signifying a brief downturn in the watchability of the show).
Then there's this video interview with veteran actors Keith David, Lance Henriksen, and Marina Sirtis.
David has some good stuff to say (including the fact that "acting is acting -- it's either good acting or it's bad acting"), as does Henriksen (with nuggets highlighting some of the differences between voice acting and on-camera acting).
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Soyanara Texas! Hola, North Carolina!
Wow, things can change quickly.
I've just accepted a new job in North Carolina, and I start the first of November (yes, less than two weeks from now).
Which means I'll shortly be making a break from my more than ten-year home of Austin, on to the next phase this adventure.
This is wicked exciting, and wicked hard for me. I've been blessed on so many fronts in the decade I've been in Central Texas -- with relationships, professional ties, and acting.
Now, I'm choosing to say goodbye to the day-to-day blessings of those things.
Why?
In my current acting training, there's a rule that says I don't make a change in what I'm doing in a scene unless and until I'm compelled by something more profound.
I was compelled by something more profound.
Besides being an actor, I'm a lifetime gamer. And I'm a wicked good business development guy.
I've been taking concerted steps for almost three years to position myself to move into the video game vertical market (it's unfortunately very closed). Almost out of the blue, an opportunity opened that lets me apply my technical background, my mad Biz Dev skillz, my enjoyment of PC and video (and table top, come to think of it) games, my people passion, and my creativity in one place. I'm pretty sure I've never had a such a mutually excited interview process; it just so felt like that "perfect storm" of opportunities for my skills and passions.
So I said, "Yes."
Not tepidly. Not half-heartedly. Full-on, let's-make-something-happen, "Yes!"
(Oh, I negotiated; would you want to hire a person who doesn't know how to negotiate?)
So, what's the new gig?
Can't say yet, but watch this space. Or maybe this space. But probably at least this space.
And while I said it's wicked exciting, I also said it's also wicked hard.
Yes, I'm finally in the video game industry in a big, makes-sense, impactful kind of way. But I'm also leaving Austin.
I have had some of the same friends for the entire ten years I've been here. I'm solidly networked in the business and technology markets here. I've been growing as an actor here for almost six years. Austin rocks in and of itself.
Which is part of why this job -- and this move -- appeals to me.
Huh?
I'm one of those guys who genuinely likes change. I look for opportunities in change (for myself and other people). The problem with me liking change so much is I'm comfortable with it. But, for me, comfortable is bad. It fosters personal laziness and lack of risk-taking.
What better way to get uncomfortable than to move into a new vertical market, and a new part of the world where I don't have a support base?
That'd do it.
And there's more too it, but I don't think it makes sense to get into it too much here. Suffice it to say acting is hugely important to me, but knowing myself, I have to be careful not to make things like acting too important. It doesn't make sense for me to allow acting to become a god that takes away from more important relationships and responsibilities. I guess it's shorter to say that I'm an adult, and sometimes that sucks on the hard-decision front.
Am I ending relationships in Austin? Of course not -- just the day-to-day phase of those relatiobships. I suspect I'll be back to Austin regularly, but I'm going to be investing heavily in my North Carolina life. It's the InterWeb age, though, so there are six ways to Sunday to hit me up.
Am I giving up acting?
Don't be ridiculous!
My incredible agent will continue to represent me aggressively. I'll be adding East Coast representation, and working in a state that has a good interactive and film incentive program. I'm still available to those long-standing Texas clients who have been willing to fly me out for auditions and gigs. I'll be a short hop from New York. I already have to get on a plane for West Coast gigs, so no big whoop there. My voice travels everywhere.
And weird as it sounds, I'm excited about hopefully getting out - of - my - skin uncomfortable on the acting front. I have some ideas for some fun, gutsy stuff, and I'm hoping I can onboard some to-be-local-to-me NC actors.
Good times are coming.
Like I said, things are happening fast, but I hope to have three quick fairwell get-togethers (social, professional, and acting) in the next couple of weeks. Watch this space.
I'm grateful to the folks who have challenged me, supported me, trained me, and otherwise contributed to my success in my more than decade of there - is - not - enough - time - in - the - day frantic doings. I wish I could sit with every person and say why you rock. I realize that isn't likely to happen.
Let's face it, it's easy to keep in touch with me.
I've got this this Website, which is obviously my main avenue for communicating to the wonderful men, women, and others keeping tabs on my acting and ramblings.
In case you haven't been paying attention, I also use Twitter quite a bit to track folks and keep peeps informed of my day-to-shenanigans and ruminations (think of it as micro-blogging). It's not all deep stuff, but I do consciously use the service strategically to keep you abreast of my professional doings (and I try to avoid the insipid "I'm eating macaroni" type posts).
If you're into Windows Live Messenger (including Yahoo! Messenger, since they inter-operate), send me a request to stay in touch. If I feel close enough to you, I'll add you as a contact. ;-)
If you're a gamer with an Xbox 360, send me a friend request via Xbox Live (Hitachi Wasabe). You can school me online.
And if you're a professional acquaintance of mine, track my career path via LinkedIn.com.
Thank you, and here's to the adventure!
I've just accepted a new job in North Carolina, and I start the first of November (yes, less than two weeks from now).
Which means I'll shortly be making a break from my more than ten-year home of Austin, on to the next phase this adventure.
This is wicked exciting, and wicked hard for me. I've been blessed on so many fronts in the decade I've been in Central Texas -- with relationships, professional ties, and acting.
Now, I'm choosing to say goodbye to the day-to-day blessings of those things.
Why?
In my current acting training, there's a rule that says I don't make a change in what I'm doing in a scene unless and until I'm compelled by something more profound.
I was compelled by something more profound.
Besides being an actor, I'm a lifetime gamer. And I'm a wicked good business development guy.
I've been taking concerted steps for almost three years to position myself to move into the video game vertical market (it's unfortunately very closed). Almost out of the blue, an opportunity opened that lets me apply my technical background, my mad Biz Dev skillz, my enjoyment of PC and video (and table top, come to think of it) games, my people passion, and my creativity in one place. I'm pretty sure I've never had a such a mutually excited interview process; it just so felt like that "perfect storm" of opportunities for my skills and passions.
So I said, "Yes."
Not tepidly. Not half-heartedly. Full-on, let's-make-something-happen, "Yes!"
(Oh, I negotiated; would you want to hire a person who doesn't know how to negotiate?)
So, what's the new gig?
Can't say yet, but watch this space. Or maybe this space. But probably at least this space.
And while I said it's wicked exciting, I also said it's also wicked hard.
Yes, I'm finally in the video game industry in a big, makes-sense, impactful kind of way. But I'm also leaving Austin.
I have had some of the same friends for the entire ten years I've been here. I'm solidly networked in the business and technology markets here. I've been growing as an actor here for almost six years. Austin rocks in and of itself.
Which is part of why this job -- and this move -- appeals to me.
Huh?
I'm one of those guys who genuinely likes change. I look for opportunities in change (for myself and other people). The problem with me liking change so much is I'm comfortable with it. But, for me, comfortable is bad. It fosters personal laziness and lack of risk-taking.
What better way to get uncomfortable than to move into a new vertical market, and a new part of the world where I don't have a support base?
That'd do it.
And there's more too it, but I don't think it makes sense to get into it too much here. Suffice it to say acting is hugely important to me, but knowing myself, I have to be careful not to make things like acting too important. It doesn't make sense for me to allow acting to become a god that takes away from more important relationships and responsibilities. I guess it's shorter to say that I'm an adult, and sometimes that sucks on the hard-decision front.
Am I ending relationships in Austin? Of course not -- just the day-to-day phase of those relatiobships. I suspect I'll be back to Austin regularly, but I'm going to be investing heavily in my North Carolina life. It's the InterWeb age, though, so there are six ways to Sunday to hit me up.
Am I giving up acting?
Don't be ridiculous!
My incredible agent will continue to represent me aggressively. I'll be adding East Coast representation, and working in a state that has a good interactive and film incentive program. I'm still available to those long-standing Texas clients who have been willing to fly me out for auditions and gigs. I'll be a short hop from New York. I already have to get on a plane for West Coast gigs, so no big whoop there. My voice travels everywhere.
And weird as it sounds, I'm excited about hopefully getting out - of - my - skin uncomfortable on the acting front. I have some ideas for some fun, gutsy stuff, and I'm hoping I can onboard some to-be-local-to-me NC actors.
Good times are coming.
Like I said, things are happening fast, but I hope to have three quick fairwell get-togethers (social, professional, and acting) in the next couple of weeks. Watch this space.
I'm grateful to the folks who have challenged me, supported me, trained me, and otherwise contributed to my success in my more than decade of there - is - not - enough - time - in - the - day frantic doings. I wish I could sit with every person and say why you rock. I realize that isn't likely to happen.
Let's face it, it's easy to keep in touch with me.
I've got this this Website, which is obviously my main avenue for communicating to the wonderful men, women, and others keeping tabs on my acting and ramblings.
In case you haven't been paying attention, I also use Twitter quite a bit to track folks and keep peeps informed of my day-to-shenanigans and ruminations (think of it as micro-blogging). It's not all deep stuff, but I do consciously use the service strategically to keep you abreast of my professional doings (and I try to avoid the insipid "I'm eating macaroni" type posts).
If you're into Windows Live Messenger (including Yahoo! Messenger, since they inter-operate), send me a request to stay in touch. If I feel close enough to you, I'll add you as a contact. ;-)
If you're a gamer with an Xbox 360, send me a friend request via Xbox Live (Hitachi Wasabe). You can school me online.
And if you're a professional acquaintance of mine, track my career path via LinkedIn.com.
Thank you, and here's to the adventure!
Friday, October 12, 2007
My brand ...
OK, I've been meaning to write about this for a while, and a question over on LinkedIn.com inspired me to jump the gun a bit (shut up; I was going to write about it).
The initiating question was simple (ha!):
So how do I respond to a question like this? Because, honestly, it's a hugely important question, and I take an active role in packaging "Adam Creighton" as a brand.
Just one word? How do you even do that? One of my pet peeves is the reductionism of the individual -- none of us can be reduced to one word.
One word? Maybe "Integrity" -- I'm willing to lose a job for my integrity, suffer the slings and arrows of critics, yadda yadda yadda.
Two words (and another facet)? "Professional Creative" -- It's a differentiator for me from many of the folks that are the former or the latter. Not that it's a competition (I've written on that many times before; read the whole post for the "competition nugget").
A "branding package"?
Yeesh / [snicker]. Uh, here are a few:
But here goes. ;-)
Honestly, I professionally see myself (Adam Creighton) as a brand, and all of the things I do are products and services that are logical extensions of that brand. And I actively and constantly work on my brand.
Do you know me personally? Do you find any common thread there?
Integrity? Professionalism? Creativity? Immaturity?
Erm (again). Very little good comes from late night blogging.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do a still photo shoot of some new toys, and then play some video games. Because I just finished reading a 115-page script I'll be table reading for the Austin Film Festival Sunday.
(How's that for self-aggrandizement?)
The initiating question was simple (ha!):
Is there one word, a pinnacle, that describes you? What is it? Why?First, yes, I laughed at the wording of the second part of the question. But that's because I'm horribly immature. And I just realized I want that on my headstone ("Adam Creighton: He was Horribly Immature").
-if you have a package, show us that too!
So how do I respond to a question like this? Because, honestly, it's a hugely important question, and I take an active role in packaging "Adam Creighton" as a brand.
Just one word? How do you even do that? One of my pet peeves is the reductionism of the individual -- none of us can be reduced to one word.
One word? Maybe "Integrity" -- I'm willing to lose a job for my integrity, suffer the slings and arrows of critics, yadda yadda yadda.
Two words (and another facet)? "Professional Creative" -- It's a differentiator for me from many of the folks that are the former or the latter. Not that it's a competition (I've written on that many times before; read the whole post for the "competition nugget").
A "branding package"?
Yeesh / [snicker]. Uh, here are a few:
"Technology Manager. Independent Creative. Llama Wrangler."I don't like the idea of answering this question, because I don't know how I keep it keep it from coming off as being self-aggrandizing or braggadocio.
"A Voice & Film Actor, living a Mortal life."
"Living a passionate, ecstatic, and urgent life."
But here goes. ;-)
Honestly, I professionally see myself (Adam Creighton) as a brand, and all of the things I do are products and services that are logical extensions of that brand. And I actively and constantly work on my brand.
- Voice Actor Adam Creighton.
- Film Actor Adam Creighton.
- Business and Technical Development Adam Creighton.
- Tipping Point Adam Creighton that connects people to create mutual opportunities (business, technical, financial, and support).
- Video Game Adam Creighton (twenty thousand monthly readers can't be wrong; and wait for bigger things on this front).
- Toy Collector Adam Creighton.
- Guitar Player Adam Creighton.
Do you know me personally? Do you find any common thread there?
Integrity? Professionalism? Creativity? Immaturity?
Erm (again). Very little good comes from late night blogging.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do a still photo shoot of some new toys, and then play some video games. Because I just finished reading a 115-page script I'll be table reading for the Austin Film Festival Sunday.
(How's that for self-aggrandizement?)
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Showcase!
Last night's showcase went phenomenally well.
Hectic and down to the wire, we of the Bohemian Theater Troupe got into the space (Beerland in Austin) for the first time at 5 p.m. -- for a 7 p.m. showcase.
Given seven scenes and three monologues, each of us only had time to run through the most problematic parts of our blocking quickly, as lights were being struck, microphones placed, and furniture and props positioned.
We also had the incomparable CK McFarland guest sitting in as we went through our craziness, and giving us last-minute blocking and set suggestions before she ducked out to teach her own class.
For my scene partner (Risa Schroder) and me, this was particularly tough, as we had added the Tango to our Angels in America scene (the shared dream sequence between Prior and Harper), and our space kept shrinking as furniture obstacles were added. Even after we'd "figured out" our blocking (and never having the chance to work through our full scene), we were told the couch for two scenes was going to stay onstage, and be moved to extreme upstage between those scenes. That meant we had to change our dancing from downstage to upstage (front to back) to stage left to stage right (side to side). And we were told we had to avoid going too far to stage right, as a permanently mounted ceiling speaker was creating a blind spot for the lights.
And we didn't get to try any of this blocking with the new directions.
Further cutting into our available time was me -- as the one guy with the truck -- picking up curtain stanchions, computer carts, couches, and so on.
Oh, and I had like 45 minutes of makeup to get into drag. And I had to get into costume, and we were second up (after a fantastic monologue from Levan Owens).
Our coach / The Bohemian Producer Steve Prince framed it pretty well for the audience at the outset, though.
He basically said the showcase was us putting scenes on under "extreme duress". Our doing the scenes for the audience was the first time we were doing the scenes. There was no tech rehearsal, there was no full-on walkthrough. If we can do this, in theory we can blow up auditions.
The goal is for us to just go up there and make things happen.
I feel really good about how our scene went.
First, I looked and felt fabulous. Lynn Burnor did an amazing job on my makeup, and I'm so grateful she shared her mad makeup skilz to drag queen me up -- which cut into her prep time (which didn't show at all in her and John O'Connel's scene -- funniest thing of the night).
I looked fabulous, with industry friend Tonya lending me a cute blue kimono, and me spending yesterday shopping for matching sexy women's underwear and frumpy house slippers.
And because the lead-up to actual performance was so crazy, we were incredibly free to do whatever. There was no "getting it right" in this context; we were there to make something happen.
No, it wasn't perfect. There a few "acty moments" as we tried to balance moving the scene forward with unexpected projection needed when the sound system came up a little short. But Risa (she is amazing) and I did a great job.
While Risa and I had memorized our lines (flat) separately, since we both knew what was happening in the scene, we agreed not to get tripped up if we missed or jumped lines.
That said, I don't think we missed a single line or exchange. And I wasn't thinking about acting; I was just amused by this conservative Mormon invading my gay dream, and then finding out I actually liked her and wanted her there.
And Jeff Carley generously stepped in at the nth hour to by our "angel", and fully bought into his role. Good guy, that.
The payoff?
People were incredibly generous and complimentary (and several gentlemen offered to buy me drinks).
But my favorite was a particular casting director shocked and amazed that I would do what I did, and pull it off. She wants me to be daring, and now there's a whole bunch of room between what I "normally" do and what I did last night. Bring on da work!
Man, I'm jazzed.
Then it was off to Fadó to hang out and enjoy time with fellow cast members and friends who came to watch the show. Great times.
Hectic and down to the wire, we of the Bohemian Theater Troupe got into the space (Beerland in Austin) for the first time at 5 p.m. -- for a 7 p.m. showcase.
Given seven scenes and three monologues, each of us only had time to run through the most problematic parts of our blocking quickly, as lights were being struck, microphones placed, and furniture and props positioned.
We also had the incomparable CK McFarland guest sitting in as we went through our craziness, and giving us last-minute blocking and set suggestions before she ducked out to teach her own class.
For my scene partner (Risa Schroder) and me, this was particularly tough, as we had added the Tango to our Angels in America scene (the shared dream sequence between Prior and Harper), and our space kept shrinking as furniture obstacles were added. Even after we'd "figured out" our blocking (and never having the chance to work through our full scene), we were told the couch for two scenes was going to stay onstage, and be moved to extreme upstage between those scenes. That meant we had to change our dancing from downstage to upstage (front to back) to stage left to stage right (side to side). And we were told we had to avoid going too far to stage right, as a permanently mounted ceiling speaker was creating a blind spot for the lights.
And we didn't get to try any of this blocking with the new directions.
Further cutting into our available time was me -- as the one guy with the truck -- picking up curtain stanchions, computer carts, couches, and so on.
Oh, and I had like 45 minutes of makeup to get into drag. And I had to get into costume, and we were second up (after a fantastic monologue from Levan Owens).
Our coach / The Bohemian Producer Steve Prince framed it pretty well for the audience at the outset, though.
He basically said the showcase was us putting scenes on under "extreme duress". Our doing the scenes for the audience was the first time we were doing the scenes. There was no tech rehearsal, there was no full-on walkthrough. If we can do this, in theory we can blow up auditions.
The goal is for us to just go up there and make things happen.
I feel really good about how our scene went.
First, I looked and felt fabulous. Lynn Burnor did an amazing job on my makeup, and I'm so grateful she shared her mad makeup skilz to drag queen me up -- which cut into her prep time (which didn't show at all in her and John O'Connel's scene -- funniest thing of the night).
I looked fabulous, with industry friend Tonya lending me a cute blue kimono, and me spending yesterday shopping for matching sexy women's underwear and frumpy house slippers.
And because the lead-up to actual performance was so crazy, we were incredibly free to do whatever. There was no "getting it right" in this context; we were there to make something happen.
No, it wasn't perfect. There a few "acty moments" as we tried to balance moving the scene forward with unexpected projection needed when the sound system came up a little short. But Risa (she is amazing) and I did a great job.
While Risa and I had memorized our lines (flat) separately, since we both knew what was happening in the scene, we agreed not to get tripped up if we missed or jumped lines.
That said, I don't think we missed a single line or exchange. And I wasn't thinking about acting; I was just amused by this conservative Mormon invading my gay dream, and then finding out I actually liked her and wanted her there.
And Jeff Carley generously stepped in at the nth hour to by our "angel", and fully bought into his role. Good guy, that.
The payoff?
People were incredibly generous and complimentary (and several gentlemen offered to buy me drinks).
But my favorite was a particular casting director shocked and amazed that I would do what I did, and pull it off. She wants me to be daring, and now there's a whole bunch of room between what I "normally" do and what I did last night. Bring on da work!
Man, I'm jazzed.
Then it was off to Fadó to hang out and enjoy time with fellow cast members and friends who came to watch the show. Great times.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
See Adam in drag tonight!
Tonight, you can see me and several other members of the Bohemian Theater in our second live public showcase.
The event kicks off at 7 p.m. at Beerland (show up early, seating is limited), and I'll be playing Prior from the play / film Angels in America. This is obviously challenging for a bunch of reasons, and I'm looking forward to really putting myself out there. Dunno if it'll "work", but we're going to make something happen!
If the thought of cross-dressing ol' me isn't enough of a draw, there will be nine other scenes and monologues from some of the top acting talent in Austin. Come see what these folks have to offer, and enjoy a night of great acting.
I hope to see you there!
(Oh, and in case there was any confusion, this is not a family-type event.)
The event kicks off at 7 p.m. at Beerland (show up early, seating is limited), and I'll be playing Prior from the play / film Angels in America. This is obviously challenging for a bunch of reasons, and I'm looking forward to really putting myself out there. Dunno if it'll "work", but we're going to make something happen!
If the thought of cross-dressing ol' me isn't enough of a draw, there will be nine other scenes and monologues from some of the top acting talent in Austin. Come see what these folks have to offer, and enjoy a night of great acting.
I hope to see you there!
(Oh, and in case there was any confusion, this is not a family-type event.)
Monday, October 01, 2007
Nice headshot
You've probably noticed one of my new headshots gracing my Website. It's from the theatrical shots, which I like (the uncropped version is below), and my photographer, Rhea Willis, does a great job.
Another new headshot of which I'm particularly fond isn't mine -- it's a new one for Marc Hustvedt -- who was a fellow Austin actor who's now become a successfully working LA actor. This pict is by photog Dennis Apergis, and is a great dual-purpose (at least) commercial and comedic headshot (it almost screams, "Put me on 'The Office'!").
Another new headshot of which I'm particularly fond isn't mine -- it's a new one for Marc Hustvedt -- who was a fellow Austin actor who's now become a successfully working LA actor. This pict is by photog Dennis Apergis, and is a great dual-purpose (at least) commercial and comedic headshot (it almost screams, "Put me on 'The Office'!").
Networking is awesome, but good headshots open doors when you're not there in person. (And it's necessary for you to have the professional and acting skills to follow through.)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Who says that?
One of the things I've been working on the last few months is -- at the core -- who I am as any given character. What I'm trying to do and how I do it may change throughout the project (or the scene, or the moment), but that should be layered on top of who I am as the character.
One of the things I don't like is watching a film and being struck with some version of, "She wouldn't do that."
So I started evaluating, trying to figure out what gets that reaction from me. Part of it is unrealistic circumstances created by the writing, direction, or editing, which arguably are outside the control of the actor. Other times, though, I'm realizing the disconnect occurs when the actor slips between why the character would do something, and why the actor would do something. In a couple of instances, it's because their was a switch between what the character in the current project would do, and what the actor had done as another character (or another character type) in a previous project that I suspect they were more connected to or comfortable with than the current moment's character.
So how do I avoid that? How do I find out that character core, that framework on which to hang my performance?
It's called a lot of things, but for me, it's come down to figuring out my character's "spine". Spine works so well for me as a metaphor, because it's the component of the body without which there isn't dynamic physical movement, it describes the moral character and attributes of a person, and it's the binding that holds a book -- the whole story -- together.
Early in my acting, I received a wealth of good coaching advice from my film coach Van Brooks. One of the pieces that stuck with me particularly was, "Don't judge your character". (The particular scene was me as a guy who may or may not have killed his ex-girlfriend.)
This came back to mind a few weeks ago when I was struggling with one line of dialog when getting ready for a cold read. My character said, "Darn" -- all by itself, in a cast-off way -- and it felt weird. The self-talk sequence that came to mind was bit like this:
One of the things I don't like is watching a film and being struck with some version of, "She wouldn't do that."
So I started evaluating, trying to figure out what gets that reaction from me. Part of it is unrealistic circumstances created by the writing, direction, or editing, which arguably are outside the control of the actor. Other times, though, I'm realizing the disconnect occurs when the actor slips between why the character would do something, and why the actor would do something. In a couple of instances, it's because their was a switch between what the character in the current project would do, and what the actor had done as another character (or another character type) in a previous project that I suspect they were more connected to or comfortable with than the current moment's character.
So how do I avoid that? How do I find out that character core, that framework on which to hang my performance?
It's called a lot of things, but for me, it's come down to figuring out my character's "spine". Spine works so well for me as a metaphor, because it's the component of the body without which there isn't dynamic physical movement, it describes the moral character and attributes of a person, and it's the binding that holds a book -- the whole story -- together.
Early in my acting, I received a wealth of good coaching advice from my film coach Van Brooks. One of the pieces that stuck with me particularly was, "Don't judge your character". (The particular scene was me as a guy who may or may not have killed his ex-girlfriend.)
This came back to mind a few weeks ago when I was struggling with one line of dialog when getting ready for a cold read. My character said, "Darn" -- all by itself, in a cast-off way -- and it felt weird. The self-talk sequence that came to mind was bit like this:
- "Darn"? He says "Darn"? Who says "darn"?
- "Don't judge your character."
- Who says, "Darn"? I do.
When I did the cold read, I nailed "darn". It wasn't punched, it was cast-off, I didn't think about it, and I sold it. My coach and peers called it out after the cold read as an example as to why selling the most insignificant word in a believable, organic way, creates good, unexpected moments.
Later in the evening (interestingly), my coach (Steve) had a discussion with all of us about weird dialog (someone else had some funky phrasing like "you're toast" that was causing similar trip-ups).
He actually even said, "Who says that kind of stuff? Your character does."
(Which was validating and freaky at the same time; he's in my head!)
So, one of my recent tools is I've stopped "judging" my character's dialog. That doesn't mean I don't try to figure out why he or she is saying what she's saying, and why it's being said at that time. But I shelf any useless judgements (like, "That sounds stupid", and so on). I can't replicate the "darn" by thinking about it, or trying to sell it. It works or it doesn't.
Oh, and a side-effect of not judging my character is I make more dangerous, interesting choices, which come through on the audition or cold read. ("Did I kill my ex-girlfriend? Yes, yes I did.")
Mheh. The process was more interesting as I worked through it than it probably reads here.
Industrial gig
I had a great industrial shoot this week.
This was repeat work for a previous client, and while it's always nice to be asked back, this group of folks, in particular, is a pleasure with whom to work. The director / writer (Jim) is fun/ny, very clear in his direction, and patient to get the "interesting" reads he wants -- even though we were shooting an industrial (typically dry affairs). The DP (Norm) and audio guy (Robert) really know their stuff, have been doing this for years, and have a pleasant, easy going way of working. We also had a new camera guy (Dieter "ja-now-is-da-time-ven-ve-dahnce"), who was pleasant, professional, and had a good eye for framing the shot.
(I'm hoping I can get some outtakes from the shoot.)
And sure, they're industrials, but since I wasn't completely happy with my previous performance when I watched it on the DVD (I was servicing the dialogue in places, not the scene or my partner), so I worked harder this time to listen better to my fellow actors, and not worry about "getting it right" -- because that prep part was taken care of, and worrying wasn't additive or productive.
I think it went well. It was a relatively easy (if lengthy) shoot, because this time it was 3 scenes (not six), and (for me), all in the same room, in the same wardrobe, shot from various angles.
On the technical side, we had two cameras this time (not just one), which made set ups, coverage, and master shots a lot quicker. I also enjoy acting in a multi-camera set-up; it's more challenging, gives me more to do, and gives more options.
Audio options for three actors (four, if you count the TV, which was a core component of the setup) were more open with two cameras , since we could have three lavaliere mics and one shotgun mic on a boom. (Our sound guy, Robert, is a great guy with whom to work.)
And my scene partner, Mikel McCurdy, is professional, talented, and a bunch of fun with whom to do a shoot. And she's one of my "favorite other wives".
All in all, a great industrial experience. Amazing that I get paid to work with folks this good.
This was repeat work for a previous client, and while it's always nice to be asked back, this group of folks, in particular, is a pleasure with whom to work. The director / writer (Jim) is fun/ny, very clear in his direction, and patient to get the "interesting" reads he wants -- even though we were shooting an industrial (typically dry affairs). The DP (Norm) and audio guy (Robert) really know their stuff, have been doing this for years, and have a pleasant, easy going way of working. We also had a new camera guy (Dieter "ja-now-is-da-time-ven-ve-dahnce"), who was pleasant, professional, and had a good eye for framing the shot.
(I'm hoping I can get some outtakes from the shoot.)
And sure, they're industrials, but since I wasn't completely happy with my previous performance when I watched it on the DVD (I was servicing the dialogue in places, not the scene or my partner), so I worked harder this time to listen better to my fellow actors, and not worry about "getting it right" -- because that prep part was taken care of, and worrying wasn't additive or productive.
I think it went well. It was a relatively easy (if lengthy) shoot, because this time it was 3 scenes (not six), and (for me), all in the same room, in the same wardrobe, shot from various angles.
On the technical side, we had two cameras this time (not just one), which made set ups, coverage, and master shots a lot quicker. I also enjoy acting in a multi-camera set-up; it's more challenging, gives me more to do, and gives more options.
Audio options for three actors (four, if you count the TV, which was a core component of the setup) were more open with two cameras , since we could have three lavaliere mics and one shotgun mic on a boom. (Our sound guy, Robert, is a great guy with whom to work.)
And my scene partner, Mikel McCurdy, is professional, talented, and a bunch of fun with whom to do a shoot. And she's one of my "favorite other wives".
All in all, a great industrial experience. Amazing that I get paid to work with folks this good.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Living a care-free life ...
I haven't written about class recently. I need to talk about last week's epiphany about my character spine. Later I need to talk about that.
I want to talk about last night's class, because I had another of those "life equals acting" epiphanies.
The discussion was around being care free in our acting. Studying under Steve has given me a bunch of tools and applications geared toward getting me to be care free when I perform. (And I've touched on some of them before, but you're not going to get them here; get in class with someone of Steve's caliber.)
Anyway, the hard part about practicing to be care free is it puts it on the fore-front of my mind -- "mind" being that cerebral/intellectual killer of acting/being.
Steve doesn't want his students hung up on these tools and techniques (and, to be fair, a lot of these acting process steps are things he's figured out, so he's got a leg up on applying them more organically to his own process), so we've been doing things in class to help us become more care free.
Last night was one of those nights. And it was fun and inspiring, both when I was on stage and when other people were.
And what made my time (and the drive home, and thinking through the night, and this morning before things got all life wonky) especially good was my epiphany just before we finished prepping to go on stage:
But I don't -- at home or at work -- worry about stuff.
There are a bunch of reasons. From a religious perspective, worry is a sin, it doesn't add any time to my life, today has enough worries of its own, yadda yadda yadda.
From a pragmatic perspective, what's worry going to get me? Honestly, best I can figure is an ulcer. Maybe even a bleeding ulcer. Yippee.
Taken to professional application, what makes me a great manager is I don't worry about managing. I'm ridiculously proactive about management -- personnel, risk, project, customer relationship, business recovery, whatever.
I build out a number of contingencies. I understand the impacts. I know what's allowable, and what's not. I communicate that to everyone. And I don't worry.
I still have tough, aggressive conversations with folks. Stakes are still high. I know I could lose customers, projects, or my job through no fault of my own; I don't worry about that. I worry about what could be my fault. And then when stuff does happen that is my fault (because it will), I take ownership, I fall back on one of my contingencies (fixes) for the situation, and I move one.
I once worked a project where someone walked into my office and said, "If anyone thinks this project is getting done, they're insane."
I sat down with him, we worked through the project, found out the project manager had been miss-representing things, and yep, anyone still wanting the project on the original cost, scope, and schedule was probably certifiable. So I articulated options, scenarios, and new cost, feature, and timeline considerations. And ended up getting negatively tagged and penalized. And I didn't worry (doing the work and and doing the right thing are incredibly freeing activities).
Understand, I work wicked hard at my job and in life. People who know me know I will fill any available time with doing stuff. Productive challenging fun stuff. It's my strength and my weakness.
And while I'm working with high stakes (corporate international mega-million dollars or personal relationship issues), I have fun; I laugh.
I bring a game console in to work for my development team and we blow off steam for a couple of hours (because if you can't spare the couple of hours, your project's already beyond in trouble).
I go catch a move for lunch to get creatively fed and reset and clear my head and be more productive when I hit the office.
But I don't worry.
It pours rain off and on for months on end and I can't get my lawn mowed and my neighborhood association might fine me and I don't worry. I mow my lawn when the chance opens up because I care about my neighbor, and if that chance doesn't open up until after I get a fine, so what? So I couldn't mow my lawn and someone was doing their job or was bored or was on a power trip? Not my issue. Not my worry.
Don't read this wrong -- I haven't "arrived". And there's a balancing acting between not worrying and being character disordered. And there are times when I worry, and have to have self talk (or a close accountability friend) reset me.
Kind of like when I have to get out of my head as an actor.
The main reason I wanted to study as an actor with Steve is I know I'm too careful as a person. I tend to do things right. But until last night, I didn't connect that I don't worry about getting things right.
So, the epiphany for last night was all the "right" stuff in life? Taken care of.
The acting opportunities? Networking with the right folks to get me the gigs I'm passionate about? Already happening. If the opportunities don't happen, it's not my shortcoming.
Auditions? I already know I carry myself professionally, know my lines, have my headshots, know the etiquette. So the audition, the callback, the freaking on-set scene is play time.
Work is done. Nothing to worry about.
And when I say "play time", I don't mean bounce a beach ball inanely for hours at a time. I mean no inhibitions other than what's ingrained and subconscious and I can break loose and do something important.
Last night, I had seven minutes to read a monologue I'd never seen, make some whacked out choices, and go. There was no way for me to memorize perfectly, so that wasn't a worry (though I surprised myself by still getting 80% of it, by not thinking about it).
The monologue was from a drug dealer. I did it with a debilitating stutter on Ts, Ks, and Gs, and a constant nervous bicep-rubbing-the-ear physical tick that nearly gave me rug burn.
Would you buy X from that guy? Maybe not (though I was pretty desperate in my stuttering, spastic plea).
Will you remember that guy who tried to sell you X?
Oh yeah.
And I wasn't worried about getting it right at all. For that moment, I was a care free actor.
I want to talk about last night's class, because I had another of those "life equals acting" epiphanies.
The discussion was around being care free in our acting. Studying under Steve has given me a bunch of tools and applications geared toward getting me to be care free when I perform. (And I've touched on some of them before, but you're not going to get them here; get in class with someone of Steve's caliber.)
Anyway, the hard part about practicing to be care free is it puts it on the fore-front of my mind -- "mind" being that cerebral/intellectual killer of acting/being.
Steve doesn't want his students hung up on these tools and techniques (and, to be fair, a lot of these acting process steps are things he's figured out, so he's got a leg up on applying them more organically to his own process), so we've been doing things in class to help us become more care free.
Last night was one of those nights. And it was fun and inspiring, both when I was on stage and when other people were.
And what made my time (and the drive home, and thinking through the night, and this morning before things got all life wonky) especially good was my epiphany just before we finished prepping to go on stage:
I already work to live a care-free life. Acting is part of my life. That means I'm already working to be a care-free actor.I don't mean I'm care free in a dysfunctional, character-disordered, disconnected kind of way. I've very much a planner and an executor, which on the professional side makes me great at doing both strategic and tactical work.
But I don't -- at home or at work -- worry about stuff.
There are a bunch of reasons. From a religious perspective, worry is a sin, it doesn't add any time to my life, today has enough worries of its own, yadda yadda yadda.
From a pragmatic perspective, what's worry going to get me? Honestly, best I can figure is an ulcer. Maybe even a bleeding ulcer. Yippee.
Taken to professional application, what makes me a great manager is I don't worry about managing. I'm ridiculously proactive about management -- personnel, risk, project, customer relationship, business recovery, whatever.
I build out a number of contingencies. I understand the impacts. I know what's allowable, and what's not. I communicate that to everyone. And I don't worry.
I still have tough, aggressive conversations with folks. Stakes are still high. I know I could lose customers, projects, or my job through no fault of my own; I don't worry about that. I worry about what could be my fault. And then when stuff does happen that is my fault (because it will), I take ownership, I fall back on one of my contingencies (fixes) for the situation, and I move one.
I once worked a project where someone walked into my office and said, "If anyone thinks this project is getting done, they're insane."
I sat down with him, we worked through the project, found out the project manager had been miss-representing things, and yep, anyone still wanting the project on the original cost, scope, and schedule was probably certifiable. So I articulated options, scenarios, and new cost, feature, and timeline considerations. And ended up getting negatively tagged and penalized. And I didn't worry (doing the work and and doing the right thing are incredibly freeing activities).
Understand, I work wicked hard at my job and in life. People who know me know I will fill any available time with doing stuff. Productive challenging fun stuff. It's my strength and my weakness.
And while I'm working with high stakes (corporate international mega-million dollars or personal relationship issues), I have fun; I laugh.
I bring a game console in to work for my development team and we blow off steam for a couple of hours (because if you can't spare the couple of hours, your project's already beyond in trouble).
I go catch a move for lunch to get creatively fed and reset and clear my head and be more productive when I hit the office.
But I don't worry.
It pours rain off and on for months on end and I can't get my lawn mowed and my neighborhood association might fine me and I don't worry. I mow my lawn when the chance opens up because I care about my neighbor, and if that chance doesn't open up until after I get a fine, so what? So I couldn't mow my lawn and someone was doing their job or was bored or was on a power trip? Not my issue. Not my worry.
Don't read this wrong -- I haven't "arrived". And there's a balancing acting between not worrying and being character disordered. And there are times when I worry, and have to have self talk (or a close accountability friend) reset me.
Kind of like when I have to get out of my head as an actor.
The main reason I wanted to study as an actor with Steve is I know I'm too careful as a person. I tend to do things right. But until last night, I didn't connect that I don't worry about getting things right.
So, the epiphany for last night was all the "right" stuff in life? Taken care of.
The acting opportunities? Networking with the right folks to get me the gigs I'm passionate about? Already happening. If the opportunities don't happen, it's not my shortcoming.
Auditions? I already know I carry myself professionally, know my lines, have my headshots, know the etiquette. So the audition, the callback, the freaking on-set scene is play time.
Work is done. Nothing to worry about.
And when I say "play time", I don't mean bounce a beach ball inanely for hours at a time. I mean no inhibitions other than what's ingrained and subconscious and I can break loose and do something important.
Last night, I had seven minutes to read a monologue I'd never seen, make some whacked out choices, and go. There was no way for me to memorize perfectly, so that wasn't a worry (though I surprised myself by still getting 80% of it, by not thinking about it).
The monologue was from a drug dealer. I did it with a debilitating stutter on Ts, Ks, and Gs, and a constant nervous bicep-rubbing-the-ear physical tick that nearly gave me rug burn.
Would you buy X from that guy? Maybe not (though I was pretty desperate in my stuttering, spastic plea).
Will you remember that guy who tried to sell you X?
Oh yeah.
And I wasn't worried about getting it right at all. For that moment, I was a care free actor.
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