Tuesday, November 07, 2006

If I knew I was going to die in a few months ...

I keep learning stuff about myself.

I think I had this idea that if I were in some sad twist of fate be told I was going to die in 3-9 months, I'd want to live life to the fullest, which would mean doing things I hadn't done before, but always wanted to (maybe even some things I don't want to -- I mean, if I'm going to die ...).

Recently, I think I've learned that I wouldn't live that few months flamboyantly and, well ... selfishly.

I think I would spend that few months doing things I said I would do, taking care of people the way I'd been taking care of them -- but maybe with a little more urgency -- and possibly doing a handful of achievable things "I want to do before I die."

Relax, I'm not dying. Just being introspective about the important stuff. Being inspired by "normal" people. Realizing everyone has a story. Seeing things suffered by other people that show me I have no right to complain. Seeing things I haven't seen before. Recognizing opportunities in change.

Little stuff like that.

Again, not dying -- just working on killing the dullish side of me.

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