Monday, April 23, 2007

An Ode to the 80s ...

I am a child of the 80s. Sometimes that comes out it in … unique ways.

Below is an Email conversation a comic book buddy and I had, after I overheard two girls playing with My Little Pony’s in an … unexpected way:

ME: Since everything old is new again -- and 80s stuff is pretty hot right now – I thought I’d share this.

I overhead two girls playing with a wealth of My Little Ponies, and the residents of "Unicornia" were evidently (in the girls' created world) at odds with the residents of "Ponyville." More specifically, the unicorn MLP's were in the midst of a raid on Ponyville.

A raid that was (apparently) not going well. That is, until the unicorns had had enough, and one of the girls belted out:
"Unicorns! Transform!"
And I now have an idea for an MMO ...

HIM: Awesome!

As for the MMO, I claim leadership of the Shetland Janissaries.

ME: Yeah, well watch out for my cross-bred, multi-colored Smurf / MLP centaur folk.

They will seriously rip you a new smurf.

I was at Toys "R" Us the other day, looking at stuff for me, and saw something a little odd:

"My Little Pony Wysteria as the Crystal Bride."

Bride of whom, may I ask?

Seriously, I think all of the MLPs are mares, right? So who's she mare-y-ing? Or is this a My Little Progressive Pony kind of thing?

Which got me to thinking about another gender lopsided franchise.

The Smurfs.

Which is all dudes (I try not to think about Smurfette; that whole thing creeps me out).

So, should the Ponies and three-apple-high blue men hook up?

How would Papa Smurf serenade Madame Wysteria?

"I'm down with MLP (yeah, you know me)."

What kind of freaky, multi-colored centaurish things would that make? And would Hasbro license them? (Probably.)

I'm spending way too much time thinking about this...

And Jem sings their rock anthem ...

HIM: Jem I can handle. It's those blasted Holograms that I fear.

Did I fail to mention that The Shetland Janissaries are led into battle by none other than Teddy Ruxpin? My Buddy wasn't available and those accursed Monchichis have turned pacifist.
=( They shall rue the day...

Remind me again why we don't have our own development company?

ME: Excellent question. We would so own the world. Or destroy it.

Speaking of which, I'm off to have Smurftaurs trample the Cabbage Patches, and I've got a Garbage Pail Kids mutiny to quell -- they're threatening to ditch their pooper scoopers, and I need someone to clean up after those narcoleptic Pound Puppies since I fired Strawberry Shortcake and her tart friends for taking on-the-job joyrides in KIIT -- Hasslehoff knows no boundaries...

Why don’t we have our own development company, indeed ...

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