Tonight was an intense Meisner class.
Up to the 5th change (for those who know how this works), which comes from a bunch of 4th changes boiling over.
We each went up twice, and my first round I was out of head, working with phenomenal guy Marcus Lorenzo, and we were locked in and real and working through important stuff and ratcheting up real intensity with perfect repetition.
I wanted to vomit afterwards.
The second time -- not so much.
It's like that moment in Miss Congeniality where Michael Caine says, "A brief, shining moment, and then that mouth."
Yes, I've seen Miss Congeniality. Like eight times. You should see it, too.
Anyway, the second time I walked up trying to make something happen (wanting it to be different from my first time up, so that I wouldn't be trying to make that happen again), and really screwed up. I was in my head, not dialed in to my partner, superficial, read the riot act by my coach, and so on.
And that's OK.
Because I knew instantly how I was screwing up, and I know how to fix it. And it doesn't take anything up from my first time up.
I'm learning so much about giving myself grace in this class. Nice, unexpected side effect.
And so much was just clicking tonight. Not that I was getting everything, but there was so much important stuff going in the room tonight. Everyone had some moment that was better than they've had in class up to this point, and I knew that before Steve said it. I knew I had my best moment tonight.
Amazing, amazing people with whom I'm working. I'm blessed to work with every one of them.